The Crazy Life Of A Lightworker
I am a lightworker… I feel so.
How do I know that? Is there someone to assure me? Nope.
I have to believe in myself and what I am born for, otherwise I get lost in the sensation and influence of the world outside me.
I am so sensitive… I feel the thoughts, the energy of the people. I just can’t stand the company of negative people.
I also feel if someone drains my energy…
I feel if someone lies, is not authentic or has bad intentions behind.
I see through people easily, they can’t hide. Whenever I have sessions, sometimes people angrily mention how frustrating is that I read their minds and feelings. Is it an advantage or a curse?… depends on the situation.
I see people’s energy. I detect their blockages and I can see what causes them, I see the roots. I cleanse past lives and I travel in other dimensions to bring back the lost parts of their souls left behind.
I feel that I am not normal… I am not like others…
Sometimes I feel that no one understands me… I can share my inner world and view with only a few people. It is a heavy burden and a great blessing as well, because it saves souls and brings them back to life.
And there is the “dark side”…
Should I use capitals for “Dark Side”? Even though it is dark, it deserves respect, because it teaches you while you are fighting against it. That makes you stronger. Star Wars, Matrix, Avatar… it feels like I live in a fiction. I live here, in this reality and there. When I am not here, I travel, I cleanse.
I cleanse and release the mess from the people so they and the world can have more light.
What do I work with? Light, Love and the Force of God…
I analyze each day, I observe the situations, my feelings, the mirror… what life shows every day. People say it is sick. But I get so much in return from life!
At least my mind doesn’t control me like a robot. It is important for me to be pure, to work with pure love, accept people and understand them. If I am in this affectionate neutrality, it means, that I am in harmony.
Meanwhile I am being cleansed. There is always a challenge, I analyze, I dig within the deep layers of my subconscious. I observe it. I try to connect myself to the Source, the God, thus everything gets solved in the shortest way.
Sometimes it’s still so hard to let the solution in. Suffering has been my essence… Thanks to the constant work and faith, now it is much easier than before.
The inner journey has started 7 years ago. My life has been ruined. It felt like a life built of shit. Now, I can see the truth, but I used to be blind…
Have I had special skills since I was born? I don’t know, I can’t remember. If I had, my parents would have smashed it at an early age. It is not their fault; I have chosen this family. I take the responsibility of what I can. I forgive, let go and purify.
7 years ago everything has changed. My sixth sense started to open. I knew, If I searched in my subconscious and let the negative feelings go I get a better life. This motivated me, this gave me faith.
Still, I got huge slaps in the face. I scratched the floor in pain.
Slowly but gradually the wounds had started to heal.
First the burden of my childhood, family, fetal age and blood line put the pressure on me. It was too much and heavy! I was raging, wanted to die. I was desperate. Facing so much pain… I cried rivers.
There were years that I cried through. I couldn’t see the end of it but I tried to believe that once it would be over. Now it’s much better, really.
But after cleansing the blood line, it still wasn’t over. One day I felt pain everywhere in my body, but rather more in my soul. ‘What was this?’ I asked.
I tried to look inside… Oh! It’s a stoning. People are throwing stones at me, shouting loud… that was what I felt. I was just lying, helpless in pain. I was crying… the pain was unbearable.
After this, the memories just kept coming, more and more lives, many types. Priest, poor, noble, warrior, amazon, witch, healer… everything you can imagine, the lives, where little parts of my soul were stuck.
Many many lives, a lot of pain, anger, rage, executions, violence… I could hold on, I stood up every time and I kept on releasing. I didn’t know if I went mad or not, I lost my mind or anything like that. Will it be worse or it will once stop? I was just releasing and I had faith. Sometimes I just tried to because I was so angry at God, that suffering hurt me so much…
And this still wasn’t the end…
The past regarding God arrived for processing and the relationship with him. But light comes with darkness. I had to face my inner darkness, my dark side. The reason why I couldn’t be present in the here and now. For many lifetimes I have been evil.
I denied God and I sold my soul to the devil because of rage and defiance. But my soul came from the light despite having been on the other side. After experiencing darkness I felt guilty which accompanied me through thousands of lives. I felt evil, guilt, rage inside me and I subconsciously wanted to balance it through self-punishment, so I was hurting myself along many lives.
Meanwhile I was blocking my power, not to use it for dark purposes, like I had done before.
Crazy years are behind me. I have become like a hypersensitive membrane. The resistance is so little that many times I find myself cleansing the global collective burdens that explode trough me. I can’t hold it back, I am sensitive and thus more and more pure.
I am going through a continuous purification. My system is more stable and most of the times I am in balance. But I am still getting more pure as well, it is normal.
Meanwhile I can be ONE with the SOURCE, with GOD and this gives me more power. It is amazing what POWER is capable of. What I can do with people, is that they get healed, they find themselves.
I love hopeless cases, they are real challenges and I succeed to break the ice. I can interfere in the basics of their system to break the old, the idle and build a new, the real.
I can do to people what took me ages to do on myself and a lot of effort. There have been long periods when I was working on myself – alone – observing myself and my ego while life was teaching me. It was torturous what seems easy now. My power is much bigger now and is still growing.
Visions, guidance, I can’t miss the path.
I had been hiding this secret for a long time. Only a few people knew about it. I was afraid and scared to share. I have died so many times for my supernatural skills. I was burnt again and again… I didn’t dare to undertake it once again…
I see a system, the multidimensional picture of the human being, what it brings and where it originates from. I continuously explore new perspectives. Meanwhile I try to stay loyal to myself, to the pure intention to help, to bring light for the people through myself and my work.
I was angry many times, because it was hard to bear my depth and complexity. I asked God, why me? Why couldn’t I get a normal life like the others? Why couldn’t I be like the rest? It is hard to live with this burden even if it is such a miracle!
Who am I? A healer, a witch, spiritual scientist, charlatan maybe? I don’t have a clue, but it would be just a label anyway, interpreted differently by people.
I know, that I came from the Light and I will return there once. Till that moment, I bring Light down to Earth and connect to it as many people as possible… people who are off the track, especially my fellow sufferers.
My fellow sufferers are trouble-fated while they own special healing skills. They are stuck because they can’t get out of the labyrinth of self-punishment – where I used to be as well – which denies them to fulfill their life purpose and serve mankind.
I didn’t want to accept this ‘job’ but I had a vision that I must do it. This is why I am here and finally I write everything out of myself… this huge challenge through this blog. I don’t even care of what others may think…
This is me, my 100%. People usually notice and understand about 20…
What I am certain about is, that the skills and wisdom I own and what anyone can own is a blessing. It saves lives and brings them back to fulfillment. I can’t hold it back, it has overgrown me and it is being grown, existed, expanded and created through me.
Free will? Concerning my profession, my path is designed already, but I get enough space in it. I accepted everything which comes with it, though I am sometimes discontent.
Lightworkers! If you are stuck or feeling lost, you can’t find your place in this world – and I know It is especially hard for you – I am here and I am glad to help you with my best, which moves on quite a wide range.
Blessing and Love,